on partnership.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sheryl Sandberg has said, both in interviews and in her new book, Lean In, "I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that life partner is."

As I was reading that section of her book, I was struck by the thought that, "whoa, I'm not even done with grad school yet and I've already been married for almost 4 years," and simultaneously: "I'm so blessed to be married to Dave.

On the weekends, he cleans (way more thoroughly than I do), does the dishes and the laundry and occasionally even makes pancakes. He takes cares of the taxes and pays the bills. He hasn't always done all those things automatically, but now I don't even have to ask. He's encouraging with words, but not only that, he moved to China for me. Love is action. And when I'm bummed about living across the world, stressed out about getting responses for my thesis survey, and worrying about the water supply, Dave is the one reminding me that this is an awesome opportunity and that we're doing this together. When we talk about our future expanding family, there are no assumptions. Nor are there any assumptions about our future geographic location. Never has Dave once turned to me and said, "We have to live in ______ because that's where my job will be." Rather, it's been, "I can live anywhere. We'll make it work." This flexibility has rewarded Dave with amazing career opportunities, but not once has he emphasized his career over mine. If anything, I've pushed him, encouraging him to get his MBA as soon as possible so that we could move out of the country for a little bit.

In college, I thought that I'd be single, travelling all over the world making my career happen. But what's even better? Travelling all over the world with my best friend and partner, discovering in bits and pieces what exactly it is that I'm meant to do. Nothing's set in stone about what I'll be doing come September when I've completed my grad school program and summer language intensive, but I'm absolutely confident that Dave has my back no matter what I -- we -- choose to do. And for that, I'm one lucky girl.

4 comments:

dgyllenh said...

I love you baby with all my heart and I am so lucky to have you. :)

Ashlee Gadd said...

I love this, Ruth. Brett has supported me and my dreams in similar ways. We are blessed to have such wonderful husbands!

if invited... said...

what a beautiful post!

Karli said...

this is so sweet, ruthie! you and dave are a special, inspiring couple. miss you and love you!

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